It’s easy. Buy frozen ones. You might think you like fresh vegetables, but here’s the thing: Fresh vegetables go bad and you have to chop them.
No thank you. I prefer my food pre-chopped and immortal. Fresh vegetables might taste better, but honestly I don’t care. And I’ve been eating frozen ones for months now, so I can’t even remember what a fresh green bean tastes like.
Now that you’re buying frozen vegetables, it gets tricky. Because they are a forevegetable, if you don’t eat them they will clog up your freezer. So you need to eat them. You can do this by heating them up in the microwave for 6 – 8 minutes (depending on your vegetable and your microwave). Don’t skimp on this. Veggies that are too raw will destroy your insides if you have gut bacteria like mine.
Okay, let’s review:
- Buy frozen vegetables
- Heat them up and season with whatever you want (salt, pepper, hot sauce, vinegar, etc.)
- Eat them
- Have fun
Here’s a breakfast recipe using the newfound miracle food of frozen vegetables. This is what I eat every day. Also, throw out your poison sugar cereal (and it’s all poison sugar cereal).
Spinach and Eggs
- Total time to make: 10 minutes
- Calories: a. who cares, b. about 350
- Servings: 1, because I ride solo
- 4 eggs
- Frozen, chopped spinach
- Something to grease a pan with
- Put some frozen, chopped spinach into a bowl.
- Add a little water. Like a few tablespoons. No need to measure.
- Nuke it for 8 minutes. Be careful when you take it out of the microwave because that bowl is going to be hot. Also, make sure you’re using bowls that won’t leach lead into your food. I haven’t done that, but that’s my choice.
- While it’s nuking, beat the eggs in a bowl, grease the pan, and then scramble them to go on top of the spinach. Whoa whoa whoa, Emily! Four eggs? What about the cholesterol? I hear you. Unfortunately, everything you know about nutrition is wrong. Read this article from the Guardian.
- When the spinach and the eggs are done, put it all together, cover in sriracha, and eat while reading a book.
Now you’re living like me! Enjoy your new world.
P.S. I don’t know if frozen spinach is somehow carcinogenic or if nuking it remove all the nutritional value, but I do know that it’s better than every single cereal full of carbs and poison designed to make you fat.
P.P.S. Yes, this is pretty much low-carb, paleo, slow-carb, etc. etc. etc.