I’m getting older, y’all. It’s fantastic. I’ve been thinking about how appearances are mostly arbitrary. Height, bone structure, face stuff, propensity to be slim and trim or slick and thick, hair texture, all of that.
If the way that we look, aside from how we dress ourselves and take care of our bodies, is completely random, then why is it the number one thing we judge people by? Maybe this is just me, but I don’t think it is.
The first thing I think when I see someone is: what can you give me? Pleasure? Money? Power? What do you have for me? And I get all this info from how they dress.
It’s even harder for attraction, to see beyond what others can offer me in terms of romantic potential and instead just see everyone as people.
I think there’s another way of thinking, where the primary mode of interaction is: Who are you? What can I learn from you? It’s a place of discovery and giving instead of getting.
It must be easier, in some ways, to be 80 years old and know—definitively—having seen your appearance change without having changed, that it doesn’t mean anything except how often you see the doctor.
I’d like to get there now, if I could.